Dear Moms With Daughters,


Maybe it’s because I’m a 23-year-old girl living in a media-obsessed world. Maybe it’s because I see how common it is to have low self-esteem and low confidence. Maybe it’s because I dream about being a mom who raises a daughter of my own someday. This has been heavy on my heart lately:

Between a full time marketing position, a part time personal training job, and having friends and family of all ages and backgrounds, I’m around a variety of people constantly. I’ve continued to notice that it’s more acceptable to say, “I hate my thighs”, than it is to say, “My hair looks great today”. If you speak the latter, you risk the accusation of being cocky. But if you complain about your thighs, your stomach fat, or the way your arms jiggle, it’s allowed. It’s “normal”. It’s okay to have low self-esteem, but not to be confident. When did we become so disrespectful to ourselves, and others?

For some reason, this kind of talk is a lot harder to hear when it’s coming from a mom. Every time I hear a mom speak this way, who is raising a young daughter, it breaks my heart. If you constantly complain about your looks, that will eventually rub off on your daughter. Kids are smart. They will begin to think that it’s more acceptable to get down on yourself for your appearance, than it is to be confident in the things that make you, you. Parents and teachers have the most important job in the world. Those kiddos, no matter if they’re 4 months or 18 years old, are our future. Before we know it, they will be teachers, doctors, writers, lawyers, coaches, and parents, too. Do you want your daughter to be confident, fearless, and determined? Or do you want her to be timid, weak, and uncertain? Let’s turn things around and teach them confidence. Let’s be proud of ourselves and our peers when positive words are spoken. And let’s correct each other when we complain about the way we look.

Next time you catch yourself saying, “Ugh, this outfit makes me look so wide”, or “Ew, delete that photo, I look so fat”, try saying, “I did really great on my presentation today, and I’m proud of myself. Or, “I love my ability to always look on the bright side”. The things you love about yourself will always outweigh the small, petty things you dislike about your appearance. It will rub off on your daughter, too.

Disclaimer: This post is aimed towards women. It’s not to say that men don’t struggle with self esteem and confidence too. But since it’s much more common for women, and it’s a few different women that inspired me to write this blog entry, this one’s for the girls.

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Special thanks to my mom for preaching confidence, and inspiring me to do anything my little heart desires.

20 thoughts on “Dear Moms With Daughters,”

  1. You’re my Rockstar. I will work hard every day to be a positive role model, great mom and confidence-building coach. Thank you for all you do but more importantly who you are:
    a confident, positive, appreciative young lady.
    Love, MOM ?

  2. I loved reading this. It is inspiring and so so true. I pray that each and every day I model this to younger girls I coach. Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait to see you with your daughter. you will be AMAZING!!! 🙂

  3. Love this Hope Linker! Keep shining bright like your mama! You have such great thoughts and beautiful ability in sharing them – keep blogging! ?

  4. A great blog Hope!! I try to raise my girls to be confident, unfortunately other girls see confidence as being cocky and full of oneself. It’s not easy raising kids these days. But I still want them to be confident, the friends will come and go but there is a very bright future!!

    • Thanks for reading, Ericka! I’m sure you’re doing a great job. I can’t imagine – parenting seems like a tough job. Continue to leave a positive impact on your kiddos!

  5. Thanks Hope. It never hurts to be reminded every day we are doing something good and to feel good about ourselves. It is a work in progress for me every day. You have a great role model.

  6. Nice blog Hope. It is a good reminder. This is a subject I have difficulty with myself. I try to be positive for others but I don’t always give myself enough credit. It is a work in progress!

  7. Hope, enjoy your mom! Appreciate all that she dies for you. I walked into this year not knowing that at this time in my life my mom would not be here. My mom died 3 weeks ago today. I’m 21 years old, and I’ll be 22 later this month. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer late spring and was taking chemotherapy and complications from it caused her to die. Never take anything your mom says or does for granted. She loves you. I remember that even though sometimes my mom complained about the way she looked, she always complimented me and told me not just that I was beautiful but that I was smart, and would have a great future etc. Like your post, I not only think it’s important for mothers to be careful saying negative things about themselves but I feel it’s also necessary to reassure your daughter’s that they are beautiful and have a lot of good qualities.

  8. Hope,
    In a world of wishing for perfection you brought attention to focusing on the the best we have and are giving. We all need to keep our focus on the positive. Good job and thanks for the reminder. I did send a photo to Sarah this am, “Are you sure this looks alright?” ?

  9. We were just having such a conversation yesterday among coworkers. Only we were pointing out what we didn’t like about our bodies. Shame on us!!! Thanks for reminding me to remind myself and others for the good things about ourselves. Homework for next week, make us all write a list of what we like about ourselves!! Thanks for the blog Hope!


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